talk is cheap...debate!!!

rant

2009-08-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

ok soo today was an ok day
it started off well
but after the day progressed egos get big and tensions raise
i mean seriously im pissed off
why are people such c*nts
like im sooo pissed off
who are you to judge someone for musical interests
i mean thats soo shallow
comments like that are not just uncalled for
i mean we are all different why do people think cutting others down is soo much better
i mean really
good for them if they are happy
so have your fun the last laigh is to the one that doesnt prejudice...
as always manner and breeding comes first ohh well :P
haha
you cant fake nobilty

emotion

2008-11-22T03:51:00.000-08:00

this what psychologists look for in a person to consider them humane. There are many different emotions and shrinks have many ways in helping their "patients" in the path to recovery. There is a question lingering in my subconscious part of my mind... "is there a way you can ever, eternally internally heal someone from something that has left them jaded, transfixed, or desolated for sometime in their lives?"???
One thing is for sure: Everyone always need time to think alone, gain closure(if there is ever) and vent, and of course by venting I mean in the safest and harmless way possible.
Ive had pockets of time to look at my past and its been a fun roller coaster ride. The thing is when you take a journey into the past you always take a walk through your present. Taking a walk through status quo gives you a perspective of what you have become. It is the same thing for other people. There is an old saying "you can not teach an old dog new tricks" and "call a spade a spade"
The extremely funny thing about drama and people is that we dont like it but we cant live without it.

im back, but as an arm chair critique or maybe a lobbyist

2008-05-07T01:57:00.002-07:00

its been a long time since my debating years, but since then not one day goes by that i dont keep up wit world news, i have recently also polished up on my international laws, UN laws and Treaties, its been a blast, but i guess im too rusty to be put in the front lines of battle, im more of a political analyst now than rather being the senator or congressman fighting in behalf of the people, if I had the chance to squeeze debate in my heavy schedule i would, but a new world, new responsibilities, plus goals, one of them is to get better at tennis and maybe get into wimbledon, i just cant seem to find a proper sparring partner.. you know more of my age, the only blokes i get to challenge are int their late 30's - early 50's and dont get me wrong those wankers can hit the ball harder than a 18 year old, which is good, but i really really would like to play within my age bracket... i guess i just have to stick it out
anyways going back to my pseudopolitical life, I have been thinking of taking law, but thats a pipe dream... or is it? what you recon?

one things for sure there is the fire to improve and to learn...
young(18)
fit(tennis player, but can play any other sport as well)
focused(achiever)

straight edge

2008-05-07T01:57:00.001-07:00

a new year another birthday, i turned 18 last month, and now im older people think i should be wiser, i dont... i feel exactly the same except that my body structure from last year and this year is seamingly bigger than before. When i say this i mean that if my face was small its a bit bigger now, not in the sense ive packed the pounds, in th sense that im starting to develop an older male body... which is ok.. my relatives and strangers around me still think i look like a 16year old kid, but i mean they are kinda true.. and at timew even younger... i was at the movies a few weeks back with some of my friends and amongst the group i was the only one who was asked for ID for a PG 13 movie... how lame was that.. tell you what everyone else behind us were laughing...
so anyways why straight edge? most teens would think its a hair style but for some its more than just a fashion statement or a choice of grooming its the everyday utensils or tools we work with whether at the office, school, and even at home... yeap im talking about sharp objects that can slice, dice and cut... its been a while since i last cut and that good, but recently ive been wanting to, but what for? my life seems totally fine but that would be an over statement, i guess it can be fucked up at times, but who's isnt...
ive been try to supress the feeling of cutting for at least 3 days now, very impressive right? i guess so..
but cutting isnt like a drug, its the pain you channel out, the frustrations, now in psychology you would be classified as menatally imbalanced, but i would beg to differ, really...
when you angry you either vent or supress the feelings
and when you supress you get it all bottled up till the jar cant contain anymore,
now istead on going balistic and mental on others (which could get you imrisoned)
i think its better off channeling the feelings in a better way, now im not insinuating self mutilation or hrting oneself is healthy and normal, but to those who so do it, give them something else to think about, something else to drown their attention to, the pain of the wounds...
and i guess its that pain some look for
as i am writing this i so happen to have noticed that next to my laptop on my desk the whole time was a sharp pair of scissors,ooooww tempting...
i will not tell you what happens next, it is up to you to decide what happens, but let me tell you this, a lot of people cut because of people who look down at them not because they cut but for who they are in the first place, and after that its down hill from there... so think hard before you judge before its to late for someone else...

Im back...

2006-09-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

Life feels sooo good... I mean all the crap Ive written here at blogger was useless...cause everything then was totally perfect! It was just I and my friends had nothing to to but argue about nothing and then laugh about it in the end... hehehe... call it weird but thats how we get along... Anyway Im older now and Im better and Im still really close to my friends... it just hard when I leave... if I leave...(praying to G) but I know a good friendship no matter how far will last for years!!! hehe, No more complaining.. no more crap just plain me... try to see http://ateneolasalle.multiply.com

"perfect" life!!!

2006-04-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

so finally my high school life is done... and I know that I havent satisfied all, as they say you cant have it all... but what bothers me is I was informed about some issues against me( must be envy) ... i cant believe it... I mean wow... I pity to who ever gets this message and you know who you are...
(note i might sound like a bastard but It must be done & Im going to put it in terms you can understand)
There’s this group "of people" which they thought they knew me!!! ad if they can read people so perfectly!!! As if when they speak its the gospel truth and that nobody's opinion can have any relevance or truth to the matter...Well I just don’t get it!!! The fact is people just don’t read... they like reading between the lines... they assume that there are hidden agendas in what people have to say... well welcome to reality!!! Where life isn’t all about trying to decipher a code... or trying to find the premise of the other person... It isn’t a debate!!! Shocks!!! If you've got a problem then I suggest major counseling!!! I mean you've certainly got a screw loose!!! get a mechanic to fix it and talk about mangoes
its a shame that other people think that their the brightest and their the best... and that everyone needs them... FYI... your nobody, you think you’re all that... your soo full of yourselves, truly highlighting the belief how you react is how you think!!! How shallow!!!
I guess the fighting mode... or the fighting spirit is just to over used!!! you cant runaway from the world!!! like a credit card has its limits...

Look who’s pathetic!!! What a sad lonely life you have...

PS: what ever you said about me... does that make you a more favored person... It just shows the bitterness in you... the emptiness in your life that you can’t just let things slide!!! because you know that if you let it go you wont have anything in your life...just like shopping its all you know... soo just stick to what you know best gossip!!! too bad...and to say quite frankly "I don’t give a damn about you" cause summing your whole being equates that your TRASH!!! Nothing!!! nada!!! I dont care if you meddle with my life cause all I will do is pick you up and throw it in the trash, where you belong!!!

sour grapping??? I think not!!! if you think your all that think again... you can never lose something you never had... problem is you think your sooo important that you magnetize people to you without any effort!!! haha!!! stop dreaming get help you need help!!! before you can help others, help yourself...

(in your own words): BITCH!!!

ito ang araw na ginawa ng panginoon!!!

2006-03-31T02:45:00.001-08:00

yesterday it was graduation day...
and I couldnt be more happy knowing Im leaving all my problems behind...

Jinxed

2006-03-08T04:36:00.000-08:00

So recently I havent been going OL for a certain reason and that would be because for once in my life I have finally discovered the Telephone!!! hehe... a funny thing I was taught phone etiquette and all that but I would hardly use the phone... If ever I would if it was for important stuff like business or school work or stuff, but never for fun or just to talk with friends for hours... and now I know why my other siblings stay on their own times...
So recently I have a couple of friends who make me use the landline to call them up... and I kinda got caught in the habbit...hehe... soo I was using the pc and the phone rings... so I answered it... and all of a sudden this guy starts interviewng me... and I (the total idiot) I was very curious about his motives and I was just answering out of kindness... I started to freak out cause his questions were getting to personal and I just started giving out white lies... hehe... so there... Im not lucky I think when it comes to fiber optics...cause recently even my multiply aint functioning well na rin.. arg!!! hehe!!! well another lessson learned... dont answer the phone... let the hired help do their job.. hehe!!!

pasasalamat

2006-03-03T05:11:00.000-08:00

I dont know how to put this and one reason why I dont wanna write this down in a personal letter is because I have nothing to hide... Its been a day after our paalam and I have so many backflashes throughout my HS life...
I've shared alot of times... I mean I dont know what to say...

to be continued...

patungo sa bukas...

2006-02-28T03:47:00.000-08:00

wow... what I title... pure tagalog... Well If your wondering what the faring sake does this title mean... it the title of our batch song which we will be singing on our "farewell ceremonies a.k.a PAALAM". After they handed in copies to evryone I started thinking of this concept...

well if you look at the connection of Tagalog and Batch E...

well most batches would choose an OPM song but ours is a whole new leve... we composed our own song.. but lets question why Tagalog... well theres so much in common...

*almost most of us in prefers Filipino as our dialect...
*Tagalog has a multiple means... such as the batch very opinionated and very vague...(plastikan and backstaban)
*if its one thing that Tagalog has its deep...the deep tribal tagalog and that inline says that we are super bonded... that our roots as friends are so buried down the ground from so many years of bonding and growing as people and as batchmates that no matter how much we destroy each other we still get together, have some laughs, drop our differences just for the greater good of our batch... as cory aquino said and I quote "supreme sacrifice" thats what we do.. and do you know what we arent just "barkada, batchmates, of cheatmates" we are family... we go to the extremes to help our kind and thats what filipino is... its deep and has a special place in our hearts and heads... just like batch E, our teachers and the school...

well another day and another input... everythign you might have read might seem too far fetched but you arent required to like it... but you are required to consider it!!!

-end-

recovering...

2006-02-27T02:00:00.000-08:00

after talking to a dear friend of mine last night for more than a couple of hours(na-DC kasi ako 2)she tried to help me get over this whole thing and you know what I actually feel better... I mean after discussing matters with others (nothing to do with what happend to me... its about family stuff) my old self is back... Im up here their down there... the act dome to me was an act of a person with no scruples. but anyway... whatever, so today I woke up and I felt it was going to be a great day, and indeed It was...

I spent my whole day with my big bro... going around makati(mandarin, etc...) and the fort "again" but yeah... then after we went to Banawe... he got some accessories for our equipment and had some electricals done in his car... it was fun going back to banawe after a long long long time... I met a lot of my brothers contacts there whether mechanic, alalay, store/shop owner or even the regulars there... I got to see a lot of my bros friends sooped up cars... and G damn... there of the hook...

it was great... I had a fun time... I still cant forget about it but I also can forget my weekend... spending time with my cousins and my big bro...

another day...

2006-02-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

so 24hours after the incident... and I stil feel bad... but before I would tackle that lets back track my day...
So I went to my aunts house for our reunion... and I spend most of my day there... It was fun hanging out with my cousins...(not those ones... another set... my age bracket pero same side) anyway... we played DOOM3 the whole afternoon and after finishing it we started playing with our cars... I took the white car and Gelo(my cuz) too their silver and paul(my cuz) took their red... wala we had a very fun time playing music out of our cars... rearranging there positions... wla lang... but at the my mind was thats incident parin... I still had problems forgetting about it.. and for those who dont understand why (receiving something like that from a girl means a lot about something... na wala kang kwenta... and what makes it even more painful was I didnt even do anything wrong... I was innocent but was already being exiled...) soo after we left my aunts place we went to The Fort... went to MarketMarket and Mc home Depot... wala lang... after that we went home na.. still couldnt get things out of my head I looked for other means of trying to get my attention out of my problem... So I go OL... and it still kept coming back... I coulnd take it... good thing one of my friends had time and asked me what was wrong... sooo technically I had a 2-3 hours sit down chat talking about it... I was a wrekc and still am but after talking to HER... yes shes a girl that why I felt even better... I kinda regained self-esteem... but still ther are other repercushions that I cant avoid from happening, like Reputaion and trust, but the thing is as my friend told me I just have to live life like that, cause you cant always get your way... you can never please everybody... but still I have to contiue... I still need help... I want to end this issue... but there are so many parties that dont want me too... ohh well...

super realization

2006-02-23T16:19:00.000-08:00

to be continud...

tried something "today-is"

2006-02-23T04:17:00.000-08:00

I was going blog hoppng and I ended up landing in one of my friends blogs... and off all things I saw a chart and took it... I have doubts with some but I agree with some... just comment on it if there are any violent reactions... (surely there will be)

You Are 80% Boyish and 20% Girlish

You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.
You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.
Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.
You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		50%
Stability		56%
Orderliness		66%
Accommodation		43%
Interdependence		50%
Intellectual		56%
Mystical		50%
Artistic		50%
Religious		50%
Hedonism		16%
Materialism		56%
Narcissism		76%
Adventurousness		63%
Work ethic		76%
Self absorbed		43%
Conflict seeking		63%
Need to dominate		90%

Romantic		36%
Avoidant		50%
Anti-authority		56%
Wealth		83%
Dependency		36%
Change averse		43%
Cautiousness		63%
Individuality		63%
Sexuality		63%
Peter pan complex		56%
Physical security		83%
Physical Fitness		30%
Histrionic		50%
Paranoia		63%
Vanity		63%
Hypersensitivity		30%
Female cliche		16%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

why are other people always right!!!

2006-02-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

I dont know, I was thinking of recent events and what happend lately and kinda came into my senses... "damn other people were right!!!" I just kept side swiping the issue all the time but it always seems to come back...
people(i.e. friends, family and even [qualified as both evil and good] foes) were already telling me "why do you even bother hangout with them it clearly shows you dont fit in..."

I kinda realized it yesterday during lunch time... I was in the new canteen in school around 1:30pm and I was with 3 other friends on the table (gemmo, lawrence and ez) I just sat there and kept quiet because I had no idea what they were talking about... I wasnt listening the whole time but it made my mind wonder and I started thinking while also linking everything together and stuff... and there is was it came to me[boom!!!] "damn I really dont fit in... "I mean I used to call Carlo, Lawrence and LA (former buddies... I dont have a clue if they still like me... ) "the elite 3" cause when they get together they're so intimidating... then I would hear that we would be called the "elite 4" when we're all together... but looking at what we all have in common... at that same moment I realized that "hey I wasnt the 4th member it was mech mangoes"

Which made me realize that what other people were telling me since time and memorial was true... why!!!??? I cant believe it, I kinda knew it but I never accepted it. That I was no farking body/buddy...

It kinda makes sense I was just there to fill in the gaps until the 4th member came back... and I really feel Im loosing my hold on thing... I'm already in the cliff I might as well just let go of the edge... anywasy whats there to hold on to... I dont want to force to issue anymore... I farking tired of pretending that everything is fine and dandy... well it not!!! this is me fading into the crowd... distancing myself away...

something I realized along the way(game!set!match!checkmate! = lose)

2006-02-16T02:34:00.000-08:00

well it’s been a long year but the thing is after all the mish mash and all the quarreling I realized "that isn’t me..."
I mean (for those who know me) I’m not plastic, its like in every group someone has to have something wrong, but the thing is I only made up a few mistakes that you would never see me doing elsewhere... I admit I don’t want to be corrected but I notice no matter how poised you are in your group you always have a mistake(it a normal thing to make mistakes) or there’s something wrong... so I told myself "hey why not I might as well try it anyway its just for added impression yada yada... blah blah blah"

*I admit in being an airhead at times but in a way I used it as my "defense mechanism" I mean I myself know to be a truly blue(fine)red blooded claretian you must master the art of "barahan" and the thing is I haven’t 3years running and I haven’t... in my case its not called/qualified as barahan, its called being an ass... hehehe, well as they say claretians are down to earth and what makes them ticked of are air headed assholes... in a way that’s my own way of getting back at people I cant make "bara"...
*I admit in being annoying to the high heavens but not as assertive, I only do that to create an image to complete the whole "I don’t care about a flying far quad about stuff"...
*I also admit to being a hot head not just because I don’t like being told off about stuff I already know but also because I don’t like being under...(I don’t know a very bad habit I've been trying to purge and I’m getting close to fulfilling it...)
*I also admit that I have the hardest time talking in tagalog... I mean I’m trying very hard but please don’t laugh cause I don’t even know what I’m saying, if im using the right term of the right preposition or the right "morpoponemiko" see... hahaha Im learning...that’s all I ask, it kills me to see that others cut me down when I speak in tagalog, that’s why I rather not talk...
*finally I also admit in being kind, I guess all my life I knew or rather I already know that Im a good person but I just refuse to, I just got caught up in the game wherein I was trying not to be like (southern people... you know what that means) that I was turning into one also because I got used to running things back at grade school that I came to realize that you have to be mean to get things, I just kept feeding my mind that "im the son/ spawn of the dark side" it was eating me up that I was soo far out of the shore that it was to late to eat my own words, doing it wont do anything... my parents used to tell me "why are you so timid", "why are you so shy around people?" cause that’s who I used to be...

----> If you’re shocked or angry that’s fine with me.. normal reaction, I've deceived you... and Im sorry for that...

on the other hand my trying to be a different person by adding different sides of me turned out for the worse. Kinda makes the statement "don’t start something you can’t finish" true huh!!!
well there are soo much stuff I would never admit that be ever related to me...
* Paranoia, I'm not a paranoid person... I made it a joke to one of my friends and in turn he kinda analyzed na "OMG, paranoid ka palang tao" well 100% not true
*mono-minded person. As I explained previously I have created a sort of appearance that "I don’t care" but the thing is "I do"... I don’t know I just don’t want to show it cause you know "my ego" wont forgive me... its not as if im super manhid and I don’t give a fark but I do... I just move in my own little ways so it’s not obvious that I actually did something good... as I said part of the "I don’t give a fark, I soo evil persona I created" hehe

all in all Im so so so so sorry for giving you guys(my best bud’s in the whole wide world) a hard time in trying to understand... but I guess in a way you also had time to practice your "shrink" skills on me... try to understand!!! I dint do all of this just for fun it was no premeditated... it just kinda evolved along the way and I just got caught in a big rut...

so if you’re wondering who am I... who is the person I spent most of my time with... I was still partly original... all our fun adventures that was the real me, but all the annoying conversations during our "lunch bunch periods" in the canteen that isn’t me... hehe just recall all the time I said something super overboard in purpose... that wasn’t me... cause I also have the tendency to say something foul w/o realizing after na "ohh shit... mali" hehehe... well
hope you don’t want to stone me to death after reading this... I hope you dint have a hard time trying to analyze what this means(agony in the garden)...

if you sum it all up who am I? = I am a person who just wants to be normal, who wants to fit in. but in trying so damn hard it just bounces back right at me... all my life I was trained to strive for perfection (meaning excellence) but not trying to be a boastful about it...I hate to admit it but… I guess I failed!!! In a way the reason why I blog is to tell people things I can't say personally, cause I feel that I can't accept that I actually made a mistake or that I was wrong...

now this whole thing is not plastic... for those who I really pissed off... Im really sorry... especially for you!!!for reading this... if you dont know me sorry dude.dudette for wasting your time... If you do know me sorry for being a pain in the ass!!! REALLY!!! (this is me swallowing up my pride...admitting = once in a life time confession!!!)

one eccezzionale day...

2006-02-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

Some people have their weekend planned ahead of time. Some just preffer to just play thing by air. My day was one of those on the spot choice making. It started off when I woke up at 6am and decided to go to LaSalle and join the DLSU freshers cup. So I coordinated with two of my best budds (too bad my buddy couldnt make) it in the world and met up at taft. I had many firsts that day. I took my first LRT1 ride, it was my first farthest commute going to a place...

one bad trip!!!

2006-02-09T03:22:00.000-08:00

OMG... nothing was going my way at all it was a disaster leading to another which led into a domino effect throughout the day...

blank

2006-02-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

I dont know this day was a very passive day for me. I was wondering what would it be like not using my brain the whole day and I tell you its kinda hard to do things with out it, even napping was hard to do. Not just I wanted to try out being AWOL (brain department) I wanted to hang out with other people. I did and it was different, I guess I'm just to used to my everyday buddies to notice these things. But even though I wasnt try to use my brainI couldnt help myself but think of "quantum ideas". You see I was soo bothered by what my bro said as an insult. I dont know whether to apply it to other ideas or stuff. The thing is if my "buddies" know this do they hangout with me for self pitty??? I mean just this dismissal one of my buddies said " ano ba ang lakas ng boses mo" and I said "so what??? dont cant hear me anyway" and he replied "di kaya, eh sumisigaw ka pagkatapos magkasama pa tayo"... I mean the the farkity fark does that mean??? that over other people, over "COOLER" people I'm nothing... Sorry na but I mean I dont look like a white squatter!!! or COOL na jologs!!!

I mean you see I dont know why imression is so farking important, well I see it to a certain extent but I dont know why. I mean why are we all looking for that certain feeling you get when people see you as a good or COOL person... well Fark that!!!

paranormal world

2006-02-02T02:44:00.000-08:00

I dont know... Im shocked in how my day revolved today.
I really feel like I entered a paranormal dimension.
It started off when I woke up due a phone call quite early in the morning. (hehe wag kang magalit who ever you are...)
then I get to school and finally feeling better as if I never got sick but of course still I still had my colds...
sooo after that I went to computer the lab and played DOTA with fellow classmates (it was our computer class)
after which I met up with my 2 other (best??? hehehe)friends cause Lawrence is already in my class. so anyway after recess Lawrence (being my seatmeat...) started this whole conversation about alabang, and I being a mix race monggol trapped in the middle I ended up siding with the south. Then after that the conversation turned into this supper shallow analytic battle of "who will get pissed off first" (hehe technically I didnt even care...) but what made my day even worse is that after english class(my favorite subject next to math...seriously...hehe...) all seniors had to go down to the AVR to practice its not songs its "A SONG" for tomorrows first friday mass. the odd twist is that the ones heading it (i.e. CLE dept) allowed the use of musical instruments!!! but not just any ordinary musical instrument but for the first time, ROCK instruments (i.e. electrical guitar, bass guitar and drum set) ahhhh OMG. the thing is it took is forever to master the song, not even master but to sing it lang. sing it in harmony...

my day today in school was sooo farked up. I ended up siding for the south side even though how deep doen I hate you know who... I was irritating almost everyone I had contact with today and I witnessed woodstruck all over again ( woodstruck in the sense that a rock concert benefit in the name of being Holy with god) Another thing is that I lost innitiative. I was getting angry already at everyone when nobody was singing and the thing is teacher who were there tolerated it... I wanted to grab the mic and get angry but some how I couldnt get out of my chair...
all in all my day was very very very wierd... haha its soo farked up!!!

some said I was extra annoying today. If your one of the victims of my unzipable mouth I'm sorry but may be its true??? (you see even in my blog I'm tactless) hehehe!!! :-)

post IDeA syndrome

2006-02-01T00:04:00.000-08:00

I dont know but I always get something more out of every IDeA its either new friends, new enemies or I get sick....

candle in the wind

2006-01-30T02:20:00.000-08:00

today was a very sluggish day for me...
I was getting the post IDeA syndrome...
everything was going well I was still remembering my day yesterday, IDeA 3rd will have a special place in my heart

So today my dad made me drive the car home (he got of the car at katipunan and left me to drive the car home, while he had to go get the other car parked somewhere in katipunan) for the first time... It felt soo great... cool...
the feeling was sooo great... but as soon as I got home, our house helper told me that my #1 favorite cat died, just this afternoon by natural causes(stroke). So I was tasked to dig a hole and give my "garfield" a proper burial. After I dug the hole located at our backyard my mom blessed him with holywater and we layed him to rest. Its very tragic to lose a pet especiallt if its your first pet cat. I've already experienced so many times losing dogs at rabbits or birds but not cats, I mean I thought that cats are just like any other animal but the wierd thing is even though they are sluggish in nature they have this certain charm that you only get out of cats. Its sad also that I couldnt do anything about it, the vet told us after a week or two from his sickness (he was sick and had to be treated by anti-biotics and needed fluids so they put deztrose) he would be fine already. but in fact he wasnt and in the end due to internal failure of organs and of stroke he died... I wish he would have died w/o pain but in the end he even suffered more...

bye my little friend!!!

to close for comfort

2006-01-28T07:41:00.000-08:00

today was IDeA 3rd invites and also so happens to be my Lolo's 1 year death anniversaty...

I feel so bad but I've been good all day!!!

2006-01-25T05:56:00.000-08:00

blah vlah vlah

tip of the tongue

2006-01-20T06:29:00.000-08:00

why do I feel like I'm soo dumb... I mean why can people be so farking stupid!!!I mean its so farked up when you hear everyone and see everyone around you getting better and you just stuck in a rut!!! I mean you cant take away envy but in my case it aint envy... I cant lose something... something I really love!!!... why does something you love soooo much hurt soooo bad!!!??? damn it!!! I mean why is it I feel that I"ve got my groove back but why cant I win a round!!! not ven one round... is it the partners I get??? or is me... well lets analyze... they have potential(according to others) and I dont.... they have good manner and as of a while ago I had terrible manner... it was soo bad no room for improvement... = me... ok then its me!!! WOW... I must be the biggest fool... why ever try doing it again to just get disappointed... I mean when I stand at that podium I feel sooo powerful the thing is... I'm not stupid too I know whether I gave a good or bad speech!!! the thing is I dont need other people shoving it up my face rubbing the fact that I failed in my face!!! and it really pissed me off.... but what really pissed me off is myself!!! I mean damn dude its right there in the paper why didnt you just take a sec. to look at it better... it was at the tip of my tongue... I dint say it!!! how stupid is that!!! I spend all my efforts to make a great set up and hunt for good arguements just to fumble at the delivery!!! damn it!!! isnt that a trip!!! I soo hate myself!!! why am I soo stupid!!! ohhh yah dabd"A" acceptance = I dont have potential!!! well its time to face the music!!! and why do people around me tend to make me into a fool I mean why am I always tantammount to being the so called "classclown" is it because I make myself to vulnerable... is it because I dont look like a fucking teddy bear!!! shit person after person... damn... whoow all I want to do is overdose in something and just leave myself to die!!! I mean what the fuck is my purpose ba I dont have any use but to be a classclown... I make myself vulnerable ba for people to pick on me??? well shit I dont... as far as I see it thats my inner "sevillian" in me... I dont want others to know that true me cause I guarantee you I migt end up with no friends, only maybe the people I meet who are as intolerable like me... just a little more I mght just do so... I'm hanging on the cliff one more push!!! damn it one more!!! well see!!!

deb deb deb 06

2006-01-04T05:14:00.000-08:00

wow super sabog!!! first round of year 2006!!!haha!!! sabog!!! maybe because I was wasted lasnight and banggag!!! hehhe cool!!!

shut- up and listen!!!

2005-12-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

why shut-up and listen.. well people dont think I'm worth anything and that they dont take my word for nothing!!! well fine!!!
God Damn it...
why do I feel that I was fooled!!!
Why do I think that all I have been doing was playing mind games!!
Shit!!! because its damn hell right!!!
Why am I saying this!!!
because unlike others years this is uncontrolable!!! Damage control my foot!!!
Fuck I haven't been this confused in my whole life!!!
and why because I want to but my conscience is telling me that "hey buddy!!! wake up to reality you ass!!! yoor being a puppet"
and you know what I hate that!!! I never take orders!!!
now moving on this whole friendship shit!!!
screw that!!! people say its a give and take.. wow some vicious cycle
well you know what!!! you whay do I have this shodow of doubt!!!(OMG Debate again "Shadow of Doubt" screw that)
that means theres something wrong...
but you know what!!! I'm getting angry for nothing!!!
and I decided you know what yoou old enough and mature (I hope)
so I quit... I just dont give a damn!!!
screw the saying "making quitting a backdoor" the thing is the backdoor was made for a reason for emergency cases when things are just too out of hand!!! well... BYE!!!!

days will be cloudy or sunny...

2005-12-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

this past few days has been a total blur... doing nothing but hanging with losers... (well nothing different though I hang with losers at school anyway) weird they say birds of the same feather make a good feather duster... I mean why does life suck soo bad when you think it wont... This has been the most BORING!!! christmas ever.. even though I've been going out and doing stuff I mean its not as fun when you spend it with friends...

no limits...

2005-12-20T06:22:00.000-08:00

these past few days have been just sweet...
doing nothing... the thing is doing all this nothing is making me think... and the thing is its made me realize... after all that thinking I've formulated my new years resolution... the thing is I wont say it I'll just do it... cause I've realized one thing... and that one thing is

"SCREW THIS" hahaha... letting loose and just playing things by air is just plain fun...
I cant clasify it as "electrical ensaymadas" or "chemical cherries" but the thing is its a backclash of things...

see one thing I've trained my itybitty little brain of mine since childhood is to be aware...I also trained myself to be resonsible (a little secret, my mom trusts me more when it comes to responsibilities rather then my older bro C, hehehe) and thats why maybe I dont "hang" or "wonder of" or "go to dream land"... and I've realized... screw awareness... what has being aware taught me??? NOTHING.. ohh yah just to be a pain in the neck not just to myself but to others... (sigh)
its soo farking irritating how I can even notice rifts or problems even when the fire of the problem is just a small torch...(you nkow what I mean)

what I'm saying is that... Its just soo nice and feels soo super good to be dumb... now I know that felling bums (i mean actual BUMS) feel... the feeling is soo super great.. no liabilities and no responsibilities... whooo...
hehe.. I dunno know... all my life I've been busting my butt to be soo super appealing to people... and damn it was fun for a while but it aint anymore...
why cant I do something and not feel guilty or be told like " ano ba!! para kang walang manners... para ka di educated" I mean sana nalang di na ako nag-aral para I'll just be stupid... wahahha... when youtry to be nice and tolerable using manners people get offended that "they dont like the manner in how you deal things" FARK THAT!!! I mean manners or no manners everything I do isnt enough aint it... better just throw my life away to the dogs...
I mean having no liabilities and no responsibilities is fun...
I dont know people tell you how mature you are and how responsible you are but when you ask for any they dont trust!!! damn it...

Life is so farked up!!!

prince and the pauper

2005-12-19T02:38:00.000-08:00

you know the story when the prince was as identically alike(physically) with a pauper and wanted to try the life of poverty... well I feel the same way... I mean screw this being "up" there at an invisible pie chart... see the thing is I dont know... I'm kinda used to it but the thing is why cant people just accept me for who I am not how deep my pocket is( not that I'm saying that I everyone see me this way, but most do) I mean I feel that my presence is only felt by others when I satisfy their needs... you know what I mean... but the thing is I hate it...
I just want to be accepted for who I am not what I've got with me... arrggghh... not just that... I mean why does social status or statchure mean soo super much to filipinos... cant we out grow that crazy belief... geeshh

huh... so super stressful... It just argh...the thing is with all my problems is that I'm soo deep in things that its past the point of no return...I'm used to it na...
(oh yah for those who are closed minded... this is not a family issue, more of an overall issue e.i. friends, schoolmate, etc...) sigh... :-(

nothing important though...

2005-12-18T00:37:00.000-08:00

well christams is just 7days away, its still advent...
soo this morning I tried to go to "simbang gabi" at a small church at Industrial valley... and geesh it was full, I had no idea why my parents went there, but maybe because it was to late already to go to the church we usually attend simbang gabi, anyway... from the beginning I knew that this simbang gabi would be different. And indeed it was, my eldset bro called it "a hell hole" you couldnt practically hear mass because it was over populated w/ people... but not just any kind, it was the lower class(not that I'm criticiszing or being racist)... but what others would call the "hoypuloys"...It was ok with me in the beginning but as time elapsed their numbers grew and they were starting to get roudy and noisy... I having less than 3hrs of sleep just went to the car and waited there ( i still heared mass because the carpark is right beside the church and the church is open, so theres still a view.. hehehe)... It was a mess, never in my wildest dreams would I have encountered such Barbarism that people dont even care that their in the house of God... well times have really changed... to bad...
going to simbang gabi used to mean something... now people just do it for fun most just do it to hang around the church... well...

mean girls

2005-12-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

I just watched the movie mean girls again but this time it wasnt in the movie house nor our DVD... it was at cable, the thing is there were soo many realizations of the character Lindsay Lohan and that the movie revolved about HS life... and it reminded me why things are just like it is now... the problem with the "E" I mean it tough but what kept the person going, the willingness and the togetherness, the help of friends... as my bg bro said after watching the movie: how surprising it is when you watch an old movie again after you ahve watched it again and again before, makes you feel that you've watched it for the first time... that what makes our group special, no matter what whether you call it "over exposure" or waht have you is because no matter how long or short we've known each other we all get along some how...no matter how many times we've watched and seen each other we still find each other amusing(regerdless of our short commings) I mean as they say If its me thats changed it just like another character said so "I admit I'm mean and move on" i'm not indenial and acting nice when your not, but the thing is I'm not always like that, thats at times, at times when I feel used, at times when I feel that someone only needs me for something I've got that they want, at times when I expert all my effort to support and in the end find that it was for nothing. nothing meaning it wasnt even recognized in the way that the person didnt even noticed I excerted effort...

Wierd how things wrok, I have a friend who loves watching mean girls everynight with his sister at home. and when I found that out I told him that "you know what I've watched that movie a 1000 times also" I can maybe memorize the lines and mybe also memorize the story line but 1 thing I forgot was the true essence of the story... it was about Trust, Friendship and respect... I mean I know I can be a jerk but Its for a reason, sometimes you have to analyze what have you done and what can you do...friendship can't always go your way... as they say it takes 2 to tango... I only get angry when i sense that theres an imbalance... and that if its rationl then its fine but if its just plain barbaric then what the hell, see sometimes we let our animal instinct tak over us and forget to seee the bigger picture...
I just really hope...
I dont wanna lose hope...

left out

2005-12-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

Christmas is around the corner and something is missing...
I guess I know... my family..
If its one thing I remeber in my CLE class is that Christmas time is suppossed to be with family... and the thing is aside from my biological family I find the debsoc my family... I mean, I fone needs help I try to help, If the other has issues then lets talk about it, I mean yeh!!!
But the thing is this strategy to speak of is working not only for _____ side but for _____ side...
Its disbanded us... I mean if going on break is neglecting that you have friends whose got your back no matter what, then the hell with going on a break... I mean no matter what PR we do this wont change until a miracle can happen...dude the thing is its not made me want to D more... its disencouraged me to continue but thats not it... I mean the sense of togetherness is lost... and one thing I know its that when the rail breaks the train gets derailed!!! and I believe that all these info's are worhtless. I'm with LV one day and the next I'm with Dani then the next I'm with Reggae and the next I'm with Badboy... I mean gone are the days we would meet, gone are the days wherein we were complete... gone are the days wherein we would be so close that nothing, nobody could ever split us appart!!! I know its a phase but how long... because if it prolongs I might forget how life was perfect before... I mean I've reached the point wherein I just dont care anymore, you hate me or you like me... all I know is I hope you've got mine to...

what a merry christmas its going to be... just that I cant share it with family... and the what I just hate was that the last school day of the year 2005 went down the drain... I mean yes we did talk but were we complete... yes we did play all together (DOTA) but was it as exciting if we were all complete... yeah we have our own thing s now.. its time to move on but the thing is I've made all of you my life... Its going to be like dying to move on... I mean I'm in soo deep that I got stuck!!!

Well I hope you guys enjoy your christmas and your new years!!! see you around!!!

Lequecheh...

2005-12-02T08:57:00.000-08:00

plastikan day!!!

2005-12-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

well today was the day everyone has benn waiting for... the day claret hsa to act perfect to these acreditors... haha... sound funny right cause claret would be lacks... but wrong, it was hell for us students... see for claret to be able to prepare for the coming of these people it took them time to prepare, time supposed to be spent teaching us was used to prepare... but no biggie there were instructions naman to follow... but the thing is why now, why do they have to change for these people.. why arent we the students worthy enough to have these facilities w/o the arrival of these people... well thats not the point... the point is that wht made it very funny is that how claret made a big impression to these schools, the thing is to bluff it... but sometimes people have a problem doing it, but I have to give it to them they did it.. they pulled it all togehter... the thing is who suffers... the students... 1month for 3rd quarter which is equivalent to 4 weeks thats w/o interuptions.. the thins theres were.. ahhh but in the end its all worth it... ehhehe...
as I learned from a dear friend and a cuzin if you must say... being plastic sometimes is good...hehehe

wierd science

2005-11-27T14:06:00.003-08:00

what makes things wierd??? its because when your trying to tell the truth its when others dont accept it... in every event theres always two sides of the story... the victim and the suspect... the thing is in my case I'm over shadowed by 2 people and the time that I need someone to back-up what acctually happended... they dont wanna... Its sooo farking easy to fix, lets just stil it down and talk like people... damn it, why does it always have to be YM wars... conference battles... Its just plain sick, the thing is no cares, and if you dont care then screw you, cause it useless to talk to people that are useless, it depends on you if you consider yourself useless, its up to you... talk is cheap... debate room nalang, better said physically rather that digitally represented... so speak

as someone said it's my own technique, its a science...an art of war... the wierd thing is it dint resolve it. It exacerbate the problem... to the point where people started assuming and thought it was the solid truth and told others... to the point that innocent people, who aren't really related to the topic were indirectly and directly insulted... the thing is experiments never go as planned and thats what makes science especially this new formula to fix thing wierd... (sorry for the word but people dont bite anymore.... debating maybe has made them hardheaded <------ (assumption from me) i dont know I'm just assuming, but assuming but nit conceding... sometime we have to shaft because we all know very well that we can and defenitly do make misstakes... so if you wanna settle this... digital representation is never the solution, its physical that matter.... the question now is....
Q: do you wanna?
Q: do you have the guts?
if you have both then you dont have to worry about anything....

the thing is as I've learned... you can't conclude if you dont have all your facts together...and the thing is this is what others kept doing... its very hard to explain but yah...

family....

2005-11-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Its wierd... come to think of it the soc. has gone through soo many trials... the reason why it still exsists is because where family... and everyone knows this but do you really know why...
for example we get into fights... a little chat and a good nights sleep thats all it takes... just like a family... all different in attitude but forgiving in nature... thats why I specify the soc. as my cousins... we may have different parents but we get along... we may have differnet houses but we meet often... we may have different wants but we make an avenue to be alike... see why we are family, they say that home is where the heart is... and the heart can always be found amongst family...

I have 2 families:
0. God
1. Family(mom and dad's sides)
2. Debsoc(extended family)

I mean we worry if one is missing or not yet at home... we text each other to ask if their alright...
you see the, we dont get along at times but throughout the bumpy road and the narrow turns, we've made our way through those. Ofcourse like normal cousins their are tendencies to boast or to brag, maybe even sometimes to share whether it maybe funny or sad, even personally experiences... to me it just feel like I'm at home when I enter those doors of the training room(where ever it may be... we keep getting kicked out...damn it c", ) because I can find family... Immean you guys can relate... you aslo have cousins that you hate at times and cousins that you can really trust that you just share your life stories and all the drama and yadda yadda.... but in the end theres always that voice in the back of your head, asking you many questions... and when you hear that thats the inner you... because your concerned... because you care no matter what and thats what makes us winners in the end... break or no break(but we all know we wanna break...hehehe) its the sense of togetherness when you need it the most... its the sense of feeling of friendship but nit just friendship but Family... I cant really tell the soc. this in person because I dont know how to... its just a realization...

see how we've grown to accept each other no matter what, whether: poor, rich, jologs, corny, mayabang, bading, perky, moody, wierd, strange, or what have you...
is because we dont care... we accept each other no matter what... and thats all beacuse we treat each and everyone of ourselves as family... whether whats size or shape you are...

I noticed from other people that they're losing their fire, I hope its not because of me... you know what.. I was born to be evil but I've learned a lot from everyone at the Soc. on how to control it or how to change... more over I've learned when to talk and when not to... but recently I've just lost it... I just cant do it... being nice is just sooo sooo sooo farking hard to be... but I can do it but for now I cant... I've kept it canned up inside me too long that I cant hold it anymore...
Moreover the wierd thing is that, the recent thing that happend for me is just "water under the bridge" but others still have grudges... OK given... but the thing is theres like this big fat elephant blocking my way when I wanna talk to these people. because as I've learned they've been fed w/ misunderstandings... but I dont know inside me I wanna go near but my feet ain't walking its because of the indirect heat that you can feel ( cguro if you were at my feet you would understand) well whatever happens all I will do is take the best medicine recommendable : sleep!!!

but i also noticed that some people only talk to me when they need something and I hope that certain theory of mine wont turn into law... cause if it does... I dont know what to do anymore... I my self "kinda" lost my fire after IISDC, it was hard but it took a long time for it to rekindle... soo whatever the authorities say...I ain't NEVER EVER leaving... you wait for me.... cause I shall return... (tempo setbacks lang)...cause never is forever...

Its official...

2005-11-23T05:01:00.000-08:00

Oh happy day....

2005-11-13T03:20:00.000-08:00

this weekend rocked...

long story short...
I got me back...
I'll finalize it next time... ciao...
I have to go and think of electrical ensaymadas...

detaching

2005-11-11T02:42:00.000-08:00

I dont know maybe the saying of others that the sophistication or complexity of the way we think makes us more appreciative the little things in life... that what I've liked about the these past 2 days (including today)... I really like the feeling that I get to help the class especially when most dont know what to do anymore... I kinda feel bad also cause my class counted on me and in the end I backed out(last minute), cause I had no time to memorize the poem... I aslo feel that I'm switching my priorities already from studies to D, but thats not the issue, but the issue is whether or not I should or shouldnt... I know that some of you who reads this and can relate will hate me sooner or later...
My brain (for quite some time) has been stalling but I dont know for some reason my academic mojo has come back... maybe as buddy says so its over exposure to one another... I dont know but IIS taught me a lot of lessons and has been an eye-opener that not everything is as perfect as we assume it to be... the thing is is that these past few months have been very very very hectic... and I'm telling you...not complaining... but after a taste of "the simple life" relaxing and stuff, I kinda loved it... so it stuck and I keep it...
So nothing is official and pls dont have any assumptions that I'm leaving or staying or what have you.... or I've changed or etc...etc...

all I can say is that I'm busy thinking of electrical ensaymadas...(I wonder who I got this line from...hmm...partner...)

An apple a day keeps the epidemic away...

2005-11-10T02:41:00.000-08:00

after IIS I'm kinda getting the CDS fever or can we classify it as epidemic??? I dont know after today at school I feel that I have neglected my class a lot... I feel so bad... but the bigger problem is I feel for myself that I'm losing my grip... recently I dont wanna talk that much to anyone especially my fellow D...(you guys know what that means) no hard feelings but I think what mechanical mangoes is going thru is what I starting to get... I just hope I dont lose the fire along the way through my battles... I dont know... I'm puzzled... I wanna break at IDeA 2nd but I dont see the fire in other people anymore... maybe because its not anymore a driven factor but it has become a past time already or maybe a ritual already for some... some how the limiting of training from 4x a week to 2x is advantageous for me... this will really help me to determine whether or not...... I'm contemplating right now on what I like or what I really love doing... it sucks soo super ubberly bad because for every action I do there is an equal reaction and when I do something someone else gets offended for a certain reason... kinda really gets you thinking, "is this really for my good" I mean... I do enjoy, I do like it, its already a part of my life... but just for today I really felt that I was useless at class, like I was added weight... as much as I love SAL I can't do the impossible(memorize and master 8 stanzas and moves)....
I just hope that this is just post IIS syndrome and not a permanent thing... I dont wanna let the very people I call friends, more over my 2nd batch of 1stcousins (get a clue... I'm refering to D's) . As I told my buddy earlier today... I never under estimate these people... and I'm personally sorry if I get cranky if you ask me a question, that for me is already stock knowledge... cause for me, all of them are smart... I tend to over estimate people, and my mind set is that, what I know, you know as well... and sometimes I act like a jackass to keep the spirit up... its my way for being optimistic... nobody is absolute... I just want some of them to know this... soo for 4-SAL(my class)...(note: deeper said ot written in tagalog than english) sorry na... di ako nakakaparticipate masyado sa ating mga class events... for my 1st cousins (my D family)... the reason that I'm telling you guys this is that maybe our days are numbered that I would speak up... I'm kinda getting used to not talking and doing all the observing(haha you wats out por me...) I just hope for the best that I dont get the CDS epidemic... inherent in the soc. i.e. RE and Mechanical Mangoes.
Ciao... see you around at our narrow but open corridors....

47th CMLI annual conventiuon

2005-10-30T07:37:00.000-08:00

R & R... ahhh the simplelife.....

2005-10-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

Today was Heaven for me... I felt God, for today gave me my old life back...
Since I came back to the debate society this year after not have been training last summer, my schedule changed... and since our target in the debsoc is to win every single tournament, we maxout our training sessions.Plus when I have nothing to do I read up and research on stuff...Its my fault but hey you cant blame me I love doing it but sometimes it can kick you in the balls...
So Today when I woke up at 7(I guess its a habit already) I decided that I needed to rest. Soo I went back to sleep and slept until I felt like I was fully charged, which was around 12:30 ish.
Then I ate lunch and just lounged around and watched TV and played computer games, I also had time to talk to friends at my friendlist and even had time to update my blogs so as my friendster account... well except for my multiply account...which I cant do on regular days, cause I'm busy training myself for debate... well in the other hand I kinda miss debating, cause I kinda got use to the stress it gves me especially when you get a bad round and you just want another to compensate your losses.. I as I say "I feed of the stress that I get out of debate or debating" but moving on.....
Finally late noon came and my neighbourhood friends called me, and asked if I would like and have the time to play ball... So I trying to make the most out of my free day, I went out of the house and played basketball w/ friends... and that made me feel like a kid again... no stress...no pressure... I know we must grow-up but it wont harm if we spend just one day to give it all back to yourself.. and thats what I did today, and I have no doubts of doing it...
cause all of my preparations would go straight down the drain for nothing if I dont feel good.. physically and motionally...

Supplies or Surprise

2005-10-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

So Gica's birthday is just aroun the corner and her bestbuds are planning a party for her... so who is gica mangahas anyway... well she's been debating for 3 years now... shes the sister of the bassist of kwan... and shes just plain Gica... So MC ryt fav tambayan Mcdo Katip... so her fellow debaters and bsetbud narin planned a surprise party for her and the guests were from different school mainley only ADMU,MC,CSQC!!! So as we all know everybody has busy scheds and soo it came to a decision to set the surprise party on the 22nd of Oct. So the day of the party Gica is w/ friend going to mcdo to grab a bite to eat...so the guests have to hide.. so w/o thinking we hid in the drive thru others hid at the gate of Kostka School.. hahahaha... As Giva's friends put it she was playing hard to follow... so instead of draggingher to the restroom they brought her to National BS... so we hurried in to Mcdo and hid in the restrooms but they requested to all hid in 1 CR and it was th girls Cr...hahhaha....hmmm....(whops.... WR) hehehethen she arrived and evntered the CR where in we screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GICA" hehehehe.. DOI..

It was fun.. we went places elsewhere after the party.. MC and CSQC went to Eastwood to rome around and went back to Katip for the guys (Carlos ,Carlo ,L.A. , and I) played HalfLife and the Girls (Gica ,Tami , and Maita) had thier nails done... after which we all hungout at the deck of Prince David just talking about stuff while waiting for out fetchers...
It was a great day... filled w/ memories... ohh yah in the words of paolo salapantan "Gica's Hot" hehehee Happy birthday....

LOAD 'EM UP

2005-10-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

It was a great event... something to remember.. nut what really gets me is that it was the last foundation day concert of my highschool life and but you dont feel that certain somthing, like getting top 1 in the batch something like that... everyone was leaving early for thier own "lakads" the surprising thing was when it came to Cueshe everyone liked them it was a complete contradiction to what people were hearing in the hall ways before the concert that they and I quote "panget ng cueshe" "boycot na yan" but at the night of the event everyone was soo enthusiastic to watch and listen to cueshe play... and whaen they finished playing people started leaving... WTH... KWAN was next... we all thought that people would leave when Cueshe would play and return when it was Kwan's turn but the exact oppostie... although there were people there when Kwan played but compared to the crowd of Cueshe it was half already... all in all the concert was a great success my congratulations go to the hosts and hostess of the program..oraganizers and sponsors... It was one of the best concerts... ohhh yah 2 thumbs up on the stage set-up...hehehehe

so close yet so far....

2005-10-17T02:46:00.000-07:00

The expression speaks a lot...
Today was another typical school day... the difference was it was supposed to be our choral practices but for some reason the English Dept. finally shows mercy to the students and postpones the eliminations which was scheduled for tomorrow... So normal classes resumes but with a twist... since we just had our examinations last week the teachers would give us the time off to just sit back and relax... we also had practices for our annual "living rosary" after which it was lunch... so moving on......
it was our AP class after lunch and our teacher showed us our exam papers... and when it was nearing me I was confident w/ y score... but when she called my name it was a disappointment... its when you know you could have done more but just didn't try... I got a -1 in my exams... I was hoping for my 1st ever perfect exams in AP since grade school.... oh well we can't have everything maybe its a sign from the world that "hey wake up, be serious next time" well there won't be no foul ups next time....

one bad trip.....

2005-10-16T06:24:00.000-07:00

the worst ever weekend....
just when you think you can trust people "again" they stab you in the back...
I mean if you invite someone please make sure you see to it that you dont forget that your with that person... then people say "dont show it na" hello... I'm not dead yet.... I just hate the feeling that I'm dead, like nobody even knows that you in the room... well as they say "i'm like a shadows....

Hallelujah

2005-10-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

yes finally alas.. I finally made an account i like to keep hahaha.... here at blogger....