no limits...

these past few days have been just sweet...
doing nothing... the thing is doing all this nothing is making me think... and the thing is its made me realize... after all that thinking I've formulated my new years resolution... the thing is I wont say it I'll just do it... cause I've realized one thing... and that one thing is

"SCREW THIS" hahaha... letting loose and just playing things by air is just plain fun...
I cant clasify it as "electrical ensaymadas" or "chemical cherries" but the thing is its a backclash of things...

see one thing I've trained my itybitty little brain of mine since childhood is to be aware...I also trained myself to be resonsible (a little secret, my mom trusts me more when it comes to responsibilities rather then my older bro C, hehehe) and thats why maybe I dont "hang" or "wonder of" or "go to dream land"... and I've realized... screw awareness... what has being aware taught me??? NOTHING.. ohh yah just to be a pain in the neck not just to myself but to others... (sigh)
its soo farking irritating how I can even notice rifts or problems even when the fire of the problem is just a small torch...(you nkow what I mean)

what I'm saying is that... Its just soo nice and feels soo super good to be dumb... now I know that felling bums (i mean actual BUMS) feel... the feeling is soo super great.. no liabilities and no responsibilities... whooo...
hehe.. I dunno know... all my life I've been busting my butt to be soo super appealing to people... and damn it was fun for a while but it aint anymore...
why cant I do something and not feel guilty or be told like " ano ba!! para kang walang manners... para ka di educated" I mean sana nalang di na ako nag-aral para I'll just be stupid... wahahha... when youtry to be nice and tolerable using manners people get offended that "they dont like the manner in how you deal things" FARK THAT!!! I mean manners or no manners everything I do isnt enough aint it... better just throw my life away to the dogs...
I mean having no liabilities and no responsibilities is fun...
I dont know people tell you how mature you are and how responsible you are but when you ask for any they dont trust!!! damn it...

Life is so farked up!!!