An apple a day keeps the epidemic away...

after IIS I'm kinda getting the CDS fever or can we classify it as epidemic??? I dont know after today at school I feel that I have neglected my class a lot... I feel so bad... but the bigger problem is I feel for myself that I'm losing my grip... recently I dont wanna talk that much to anyone especially my fellow D...(you guys know what that means) no hard feelings but I think what mechanical mangoes is going thru is what I starting to get... I just hope I dont lose the fire along the way through my battles... I dont know... I'm puzzled... I wanna break at IDeA 2nd but I dont see the fire in other people anymore... maybe because its not anymore a driven factor but it has become a past time already or maybe a ritual already for some... some how the limiting of training from 4x a week to 2x is advantageous for me... this will really help me to determine whether or not...... I'm contemplating right now on what I like or what I really love doing... it sucks soo super ubberly bad because for every action I do there is an equal reaction and when I do something someone else gets offended for a certain reason... kinda really gets you thinking, "is this really for my good" I mean... I do enjoy, I do like it, its already a part of my life... but just for today I really felt that I was useless at class, like I was added weight... as much as I love SAL I can't do the impossible(memorize and master 8 stanzas and moves)....
I just hope that this is just post IIS syndrome and not a permanent thing... I dont wanna let the very people I call friends, more over my 2nd batch of 1stcousins (get a clue... I'm refering to D's) . As I told my buddy earlier today... I never under estimate these people... and I'm personally sorry if I get cranky if you ask me a question, that for me is already stock knowledge... cause for me, all of them are smart... I tend to over estimate people, and my mind set is that, what I know, you know as well... and sometimes I act like a jackass to keep the spirit up... its my way for being optimistic... nobody is absolute... I just want some of them to know this... soo for 4-SAL(my class)...(note: deeper said ot written in tagalog than english) sorry na... di ako nakakaparticipate masyado sa ating mga class events... for my 1st cousins (my D family)... the reason that I'm telling you guys this is that maybe our days are numbered that I would speak up... I'm kinda getting used to not talking and doing all the observing(haha you wats out por me...) I just hope for the best that I dont get the CDS epidemic... inherent in the soc. i.e. RE and Mechanical Mangoes.
Ciao... see you around at our narrow but open corridors....