wierd science

what makes things wierd??? its because when your trying to tell the truth its when others dont accept it... in every event theres always two sides of the story... the victim and the suspect... the thing is in my case I'm over shadowed by 2 people and the time that I need someone to back-up what acctually happended... they dont wanna... Its sooo farking easy to fix, lets just stil it down and talk like people... damn it, why does it always have to be YM wars... conference battles... Its just plain sick, the thing is no cares, and if you dont care then screw you, cause it useless to talk to people that are useless, it depends on you if you consider yourself useless, its up to you... talk is cheap... debate room nalang, better said physically rather that digitally represented... so speak

as someone said it's my own technique, its a science...an art of war... the wierd thing is it dint resolve it. It exacerbate the problem... to the point where people started assuming and thought it was the solid truth and told others... to the point that innocent people, who aren't really related to the topic were indirectly and directly insulted... the thing is experiments never go as planned and thats what makes science especially this new formula to fix thing wierd... (sorry for the word but people dont bite anymore.... debating maybe has made them hardheaded <------ (assumption from me) i dont know I'm just assuming, but assuming but nit conceding... sometime we have to shaft because we all know very well that we can and defenitly do make misstakes... so if you wanna settle this... digital representation is never the solution, its physical that matter.... the question now is....
Q: do you wanna?
Q: do you have the guts?
if you have both then you dont have to worry about anything....

the thing is as I've learned... you can't conclude if you dont have all your facts together...and the thing is this is what others kept doing... its very hard to explain but yah...

family....

Its wierd... come to think of it the soc. has gone through soo many trials... the reason why it still exsists is because where family... and everyone knows this but do you really know why...
for example we get into fights... a little chat and a good nights sleep thats all it takes... just like a family... all different in attitude but forgiving in nature... thats why I specify the soc. as my cousins... we may have different parents but we get along... we may have differnet houses but we meet often... we may have different wants but we make an avenue to be alike... see why we are family, they say that home is where the heart is... and the heart can always be found amongst family...

I have 2 families:
0. God
1. Family(mom and dad's sides)
2. Debsoc(extended family)

I mean we worry if one is missing or not yet at home... we text each other to ask if their alright...
you see the, we dont get along at times but throughout the bumpy road and the narrow turns, we've made our way through those. Ofcourse like normal cousins their are tendencies to boast or to brag, maybe even sometimes to share whether it maybe funny or sad, even personally experiences... to me it just feel like I'm at home when I enter those doors of the training room(where ever it may be... we keep getting kicked out...damn it c", ) because I can find family... Immean you guys can relate... you aslo have cousins that you hate at times and cousins that you can really trust that you just share your life stories and all the drama and yadda yadda.... but in the end theres always that voice in the back of your head, asking you many questions... and when you hear that thats the inner you... because your concerned... because you care no matter what and thats what makes us winners in the end... break or no break(but we all know we wanna break...hehehe) its the sense of togetherness when you need it the most... its the sense of feeling of friendship but nit just friendship but Family... I cant really tell the soc. this in person because I dont know how to... its just a realization...

see how we've grown to accept each other no matter what, whether: poor, rich, jologs, corny, mayabang, bading, perky, moody, wierd, strange, or what have you...
is because we dont care... we accept each other no matter what... and thats all beacuse we treat each and everyone of ourselves as family... whether whats size or shape you are...

I noticed from other people that they're losing their fire, I hope its not because of me... you know what.. I was born to be evil but I've learned a lot from everyone at the Soc. on how to control it or how to change... more over I've learned when to talk and when not to... but recently I've just lost it... I just cant do it... being nice is just sooo sooo sooo farking hard to be... but I can do it but for now I cant... I've kept it canned up inside me too long that I cant hold it anymore...
Moreover the wierd thing is that, the recent thing that happend for me is just "water under the bridge" but others still have grudges... OK given... but the thing is theres like this big fat elephant blocking my way when I wanna talk to these people. because as I've learned they've been fed w/ misunderstandings... but I dont know inside me I wanna go near but my feet ain't walking its because of the indirect heat that you can feel ( cguro if you were at my feet you would understand) well whatever happens all I will do is take the best medicine recommendable : sleep!!!

but i also noticed that some people only talk to me when they need something and I hope that certain theory of mine wont turn into law... cause if it does... I dont know what to do anymore... I my self "kinda" lost my fire after IISDC, it was hard but it took a long time for it to rekindle... soo whatever the authorities say...I ain't NEVER EVER leaving... you wait for me.... cause I shall return... (tempo setbacks lang)...cause never is forever...

Its official...

Oh happy day....

this weekend rocked...

long story short...
I got me back...
I'll finalize it next time... ciao...
I have to go and think of electrical ensaymadas...

detaching

I dont know maybe the saying of others that the sophistication or complexity of the way we think makes us more appreciative the little things in life... that what I've liked about the these past 2 days (including today)... I really like the feeling that I get to help the class especially when most dont know what to do anymore... I kinda feel bad also cause my class counted on me and in the end I backed out(last minute), cause I had no time to memorize the poem... I aslo feel that I'm switching my priorities already from studies to D, but thats not the issue, but the issue is whether or not I should or shouldnt... I know that some of you who reads this and can relate will hate me sooner or later...
My brain (for quite some time) has been stalling but I dont know for some reason my academic mojo has come back... maybe as buddy says so its over exposure to one another... I dont know but IIS taught me a lot of lessons and has been an eye-opener that not everything is as perfect as we assume it to be... the thing is is that these past few months have been very very very hectic... and I'm telling you...not complaining... but after a taste of "the simple life" relaxing and stuff, I kinda loved it... so it stuck and I keep it...
So nothing is official and pls dont have any assumptions that I'm leaving or staying or what have you.... or I've changed or etc...etc...

all I can say is that I'm busy thinking of electrical ensaymadas...(I wonder who I got this line from...hmm...partner...)

An apple a day keeps the epidemic away...

after IIS I'm kinda getting the CDS fever or can we classify it as epidemic??? I dont know after today at school I feel that I have neglected my class a lot... I feel so bad... but the bigger problem is I feel for myself that I'm losing my grip... recently I dont wanna talk that much to anyone especially my fellow D...(you guys know what that means) no hard feelings but I think what mechanical mangoes is going thru is what I starting to get... I just hope I dont lose the fire along the way through my battles... I dont know... I'm puzzled... I wanna break at IDeA 2nd but I dont see the fire in other people anymore... maybe because its not anymore a driven factor but it has become a past time already or maybe a ritual already for some... some how the limiting of training from 4x a week to 2x is advantageous for me... this will really help me to determine whether or not...... I'm contemplating right now on what I like or what I really love doing... it sucks soo super ubberly bad because for every action I do there is an equal reaction and when I do something someone else gets offended for a certain reason... kinda really gets you thinking, "is this really for my good" I mean... I do enjoy, I do like it, its already a part of my life... but just for today I really felt that I was useless at class, like I was added weight... as much as I love SAL I can't do the impossible(memorize and master 8 stanzas and moves)....
I just hope that this is just post IIS syndrome and not a permanent thing... I dont wanna let the very people I call friends, more over my 2nd batch of 1stcousins (get a clue... I'm refering to D's) . As I told my buddy earlier today... I never under estimate these people... and I'm personally sorry if I get cranky if you ask me a question, that for me is already stock knowledge... cause for me, all of them are smart... I tend to over estimate people, and my mind set is that, what I know, you know as well... and sometimes I act like a jackass to keep the spirit up... its my way for being optimistic... nobody is absolute... I just want some of them to know this... soo for 4-SAL(my class)...(note: deeper said ot written in tagalog than english) sorry na... di ako nakakaparticipate masyado sa ating mga class events... for my 1st cousins (my D family)... the reason that I'm telling you guys this is that maybe our days are numbered that I would speak up... I'm kinda getting used to not talking and doing all the observing(haha you wats out por me...) I just hope for the best that I dont get the CDS epidemic... inherent in the soc. i.e. RE and Mechanical Mangoes.
Ciao... see you around at our narrow but open corridors....